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L ast week marked the end of Dry January as many call it. For.

And yes, she hides bottles from her teetotal husband and yes, she lies to her GP to avoid the look of looking to go out tonight drinks maybe disbelief on his face another doctor once told me she dons this look even if the patient admits to drinking two glasses a night.

L ike Lesley, I too stopped drinking last year. I subjected myself to two months of total abstinence, after which Tonigbt gave myself permission to drink.

In the past four months, I have had four nights in which any wine has passed my lips. My skin is clear: I remember names once in a. I take my compliments with grace but the truth is: I dream about it.

I am more addicted to not drinking than I ever was to drinking. That was supposed to be me. Instead, here I am, much the same except maybe slightly more self-obsessed than before which is saying a lot.

I couldn't think of a single thing. The old, manic, hungover me could knock off a work of art I have a second career as an artist mwybe a deadline in the same day. I never ate chocolate.

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Dry drunks suffer from self-pity or are over-confident I fluctuate between feeling superior and totally despondent.

They show a lack of interest in activities apart from watching box sets and may indulge in new vices I now have a full blown social media addiction.

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A top addiction expert once explained to me oooking I suffer from Multi Impulsive Disorder. This basically means I have no self-control, so if I control one bit of my life, it spills out somewhere.

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My new not-drinking is just as out of control as my old drinking. He also explained that women who suffered from bulimia in the past like me, briefly are much more prone to alcoholism, even the type without the alcohol. James Arkell, a psychiatrist with a special interest in eating disorders.

T here is also a lot of deceit and concealment amongst bulimics, which makes them very good at being alcoholics. Women my age have often drinke transferred a food addiction to an alcohol one.

The up and down pattern is the same, as is the shame and self-loathing.

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Give yourself permission to drink, maybe tomorrow. Deal with it.

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I have not won a Pulitzer Prize and probably never. My mother did die. My best days may be.

Such thoughts once made me want to reach for the bottle, but now I think a lot about the day my mother who died of stomach cancer aged 67 burst into tears when she saw two little old ladies having lunch drin,s the table next door.

I may not be an enlightened non-drinker but I am an informed one.

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Sooner or later your vices catch up with you. The big bad medical wolves have achieved their goal.

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Andy Boyle, 30, decided to quit drinking alcohol two years ago. Maybe I'll drink again. The events don't change if you decide not to drink! I've yet to wake up and look at my phone, see something I texted, and go, "Ugh. Look, drinking all day is not healthy. But what if you starts at noon. Or, maybe, what the hell, you just want to go all out on a hot summer day. Why did you end up going out despite clearly not wanting to? “Jake managed to not drink for a week so we're going to celebrate with some heavy drinking! . Maybe tomorrow you can be honest with your friends, but tonight.

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